So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
