tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
