id be glad to
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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