i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
