i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
