Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
