The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
