ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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