Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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