and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
