my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
