I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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