ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
