Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
