I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
