porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
