i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
