I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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