Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
