I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
that's an acceptable place to lick
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
third nipple confirmed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
