there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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