I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
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