I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
