Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
did i walk over a car last night?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
