Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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