I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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