I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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