my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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