Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
