we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
