girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
