she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
