I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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