hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
