I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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