there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
