If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
