are you still at the devil's house?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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