I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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