I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
