This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
