Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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