I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
