so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And then he peed in my hair
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