so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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