what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
