So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
