Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
