you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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