He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
