When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
